Man's Best Friend Indeed

Ahhh, the joys of having a puppy. Chew. Chew. Chew. Sigh. Our last dog did not chew anything and I didn't know we had it so good. Oakley chews everything but I thought he had been doing better lately.
So the blue thing is his brand new $30-ish collapsible kennel where he was intended to sleep. He tore this hole in it within a few days. The dog is also Houdini. He can open the zipper (from the inside...the zipper is on the outside) and get out of his kennel. He's done this about 3 times.

When he got out he found this tinsel, the wire with the stars on it for gifts... and shredded it and got stars all over. I would have vacuumed them up but....

So the other day I had to run across the street to a friends house, so I put Oakley in his kennel for a minute. I come back to find my vacuum cord inside his kennel all chewed up. That dog reached out through that hole he made, and pulled almost the whole cord through the hole into his kennel and chewed it. Lucky for him it was unplugged. I've been without a vacuum for 2 days now and it's driving me crazy! I have stars on my office floor and straw in my bathroom. Somehow a named "someone" whom I'm married to, took Oakley out of his outside kennel that is filled with straw and put him in the bathroom to sleep for the night. Well, the next morning I find the bathroom full of straw. "Someone" didn't clean the straw off the dog before he was brought in the house. But really, Jeff is a big help with Oakley, especially in the morning while he's getting ready for work and I'm still in bed.

And last but definitely not least....

This is what I woke up to this morning. I heard the dog eating plastic so I got out of bed, went into the bathroom (where he will no longer have the luxury of sleeping) and found him eating a bag of cotton balls out of this drawer (another Houdini act. The drawer was shut. How does a dog without opposable thumbs do this?)....which he also ate. I almost died. I couldn't even look at it until a few hours later. I was in denial. Jeff has yet to see it. I'm a little nervous.
***I would also just like to add that the dog has plenty of chew toys (except last night when he ate the drawer..ooops) and is not left in his kennel for excessive amounts of time which might encourage such destructive behavior.***

Kennel: $30
New vacuum cord: ?
Tinsel: $1
Drawer: ????
Having a puppy: Priceless.....ARGHHHH!